When a Girl Finds the Queen within Her

The duvet was warm. Too warm in fact, because the sun was already out and about. But Caroline’s heart was shivering. Why? She wondered, even though she knew the answer. She knew why her heart was shivering. But now what? She rolled over to the other side of her bed. Four hours later, she emerged from the bed, into the shower and into a bright and sunny day that masked the state of her heart.

After a week of more sunny days and more masks – of the heart and the face – she matched into Java Coffee House to do some reading and do some office work. A part of her was happy, actually thrilled, with the progress she was making in her life, especially on the work front. But another part of her could identify with the words that are often attributed to the actor Robin Williams, “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” While these words can easily be adopted as the single people’s anthem, she also liked to look on the other side of the coin – there are some great guys out there who will make me feel great, not alone.

But where are they?! She would exclaim.

Arlette, one of her closest friends, met her great guy.

I do. Arlette had said shyly, ecstatically, confidently. I do. Her ex-fiancé who was now her husband had also said. They were declared husband and wife.

Caroline was there, listening to it all as the maid of honor and as a close friend. She was so happy for them. That night, she slept with a smile in her heart.

A few days later, her heart was trembling like a leaf in the midnight wind. A leaf that trembles alone, dancing to the powerful breath of a wind that usually departs as suddenly as it came. The wind, in her case, was the book in her hands. The Art of Possibility. More precisely, a singular page in the book had presented to her eyes words that were sinking into her heart like a hurricane pounding a forest. 

Caroline’s eyes descended back to the sentence whose words had slammed into heart with so much power that they caused it to shiver.

“It’s all invented anyway, so we might as well invent a story or a framework of meaning that enhances our quality of life and the life of those around us.”

As she reread these words, powerful insights began welling up in her heart.

It’s all invented --- every day, life hands you circumstances that will only affect you to the extent that you allow them to affect you --- we might as well invent a story ---- you have the power to make a U-turn if you find yourself on the wrong road --- invent a story that enhances our quality of life and the life of those around us --- you can make your life much better and allow that positive change to spill over into the lives of those around us.

You don’t like the ten extra kilos that have piled up into your waistline and lower part of your stomach? You have the power to lose that extra weight. A great body doesn’t belong to the smooth pages of glossy magazines. It belongs to you. It will not be easy. It will take a lot of focus, discipline and diligence. But it’s ultimately up to you.

The following day, Caroline strode into these twin weight loss pathways – physical exercises and nutrition. Over the course of several months, she broke vast amounts of sweat through dancing, walking, jogging and several other cardio-vascular activities. She also watched what she ate with a very discerning eye. All these efforts were intentional. Deliberate. There were days when she stumbled and fell either into eating binges or lazy days that didn’t feature any workouts. But she learnt to arise, dust herself and walk on. This walk eventually left her five kilograms lighter. She knows from experience that what you gain you can lose and what you close you can gain. So she remains vigilant and focused.

Early one morning in May, Caroline sighed deeply and closed her eyes. Insights kept tumbling into her heart and mind.

You have the key to ignite the car that is your life. Start that car. The steering wheel is right in front of you. Use it to keep turning in the right direction. The accelerator is right beneath your feet. Step on it to accelerate the progress. It’s up to you Caroline. She told herself audibly. It’s up to you to write the story of your life, by the Grace of God. She smiled. Closed her eyes, then opened them again. She jumped up from the bed. She felt invisible wings on her arms. She could fly. She felt powerful, joyous and peaceful.

By mid-August 2020, she had finalized two books. Rather, she had finished writing the final draft for one book and handed it to the publisher. She had finished the penultimate draft of the other book. The only thing remaining was to fill some gaps that still needed a bit of research. Apart from that, the book was as good as done. It is therefore feasible that by the time 2020 crawls into the fourth quarter, she will have two more published books under her belt. Not bad at all for a queen who only became a published author less than three years ago.

After the corona virus swirled around the world and brought normal life to a screeching halt, Caroline found herself having deep conversations with her big sister Chantal and some of her closest friends about her journey of self-discovery, self-improvement and self-love. In many of these conversations, they too would share the experiences of their own journeys. With time, it occurred to Caroline that these deep conversations and the insights they stirred could be packaged into a platform where women – queens – could connect in a positive space of edification. A space where queens celebrate each other and build one another. And that’s how women conexion was born. Initially, there were only a handful of queens in this initiative. In less than four months, the membership had grown to 86, and counting. Watch that space, because those queens have already charted out the roadmap that they want to follow in their quest to be the best versions of themselves.