A Beautiful Breeze for your Marriage Photo by nihan güzel daştan from Pixabay

A Beautiful Breeze for your Marriage

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1974 May 9th. It was a Thursday. It was also a day of love. A day when Rose got married to Willy. They were both teachers. Hundreds of guests packed St. Luke’s Cathedral. Finally, the 32-year old musician cum teacher was getting married. At that time, getting married at 32 was almost similar to getting married at 50. Particularly because he was also the first born son and had thus been expected to start off his twenties with a wife. Almost fifty years later, Willy and Rose are still as in love just as they were that rainy Thursday when they said ‘I do’ to each other. When asked about the secret of a long, happy marriage, Willy answered in four words, ‘Humility. Commitment. Respect. Friendship.’

Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right. Both Mwalimu (Teacher) Willy and Mwalimu Rose have lived by these words of Ezra Taft Benson, a religious leader and former Minister of Agriculture in the US. Follow their footsteps in your marriage. During those heated moments when disagreements spill over, focus more on what is right, not who is right.

Centuries before Willy and Rose were born, Abraham Lincoln defined commitment beautifully, ‘commitment is what transforms a promise into reality.’ Courtship, the wedding, honeymoon and first couple of months or even years are full of promises. To love, to hold, to cherish, to buy this and that. Promises. Beyond that, only your commitment will translate those promises into reality. That’s why Jean Paul Sartre, the French philosopher once said that ‘commitment is an act, not a word.’

Respect. While its a two-way traffic, its also the oxygen that men inhale in a marriage. The greater the depth of one’s character, the higher the level of their respect for their spouse. Respect rides on the wings of humility. It is deference to one’s authority or position. However, it should always be based on love, not fear. The onus is on husbands to be the initiators of this love just as the onus is on wives to be the initiators of respect. Just like commitment, love too, is an act.

Friendship. Oh, friendship. Friendship holds and upholds; relishes and cherishes; thrills and fills. But it doesn’t do these things automatically. It must be cultivated and nurtured by investing quality time into each other.

May your marriage be one of friendship, respect, commitment and humility.  

Here is how you can build beautiful conversations in your marriage.

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